One of the best things about #Quest2015 is the people I’ve met. People I’d never have known otherwise. We’re running together for 12 days with 12 visionaries to imagine – and create – our best 12 months. This is creative, reflective, hard work and something I’d never have done on my own. An appreciative howl out to Jeffrey Davis and his apparently endless source of compassionate energy in leading the pack.
Today’s visionary: meet Charlie Gilkey, champion of and catalyst for Creative Giants – talented Renaissance souls with a compassion-fueled bias towards action. See more here.
His prompt for us:
We often think too much about adding new things, when the source of a lot of our growth is eliminating old things. What do you need to STOP doing in 2015? And what do you need to do to make that STOPPING more than an intention?
Eliminate the old so the new can flourish. Images arise: pruning branches so a tree can flourish, clearing weeds so flowers have light and space, lightening my travel bag so I can move freely.
What am I ready to stop doing in 2015?
Being afraid of failing. Fear holds me back and keeps me hanging onto work that I can get easily even when it’s not the work I want. It fills up my time stopping me from creating what I want.
Getting distracted. It’s easy to start a project that requires being systematic only to get distracted by the next urgent or bright and shiny new thing. Or by just doing the work that arises once I’ve developed an opportunity. Some of that’s inevitable, and fun. But I will stop getting distracted to the point of not following through on the things I want to commit myself to.
Being what others expect. I will keep meeting commitments and delivering more than others expect. I will act according to my values and beliefs. I will give up trying to look and sound like someone else’s idea of who I am, or should be. I suppose there’s some safety in trying to live up to the “shoulds”- it covers up some vulnerability. If I do my work in a way that reflects me, and I don’t succeed… Wait. Stop. I will stop being afraid.
To move from intention to action I will ask myself these questions regularly, in relation to my vision and goals. A half-day per month set aside for responding these questions. That’s my plan.
Being Afraid
- What am I afraid of?
- Should I be afraid?
- What did I do even though I was afraid?
- What would I do next, if I wasn’t afraid?
Getting Distracted
- Did I get off course this week?
- What did I accomplish by getting off course?
- What did I miss doing by getting off course?
- Is it still important to do whatever I missed? If not, why? If so, how will I get back on track?
Meeting Others’ Expectations (about what, who and how I should be).
- Is this my idea, or someone else’s?
- What do I really want to do?
- Am I using my own voice?
- If not, what is it I really want to say?
- Am I being consistent with who I am and how I am?
- If not, why?
We both mentioned people-pleasing in our responses today. I LOVE your questions to ask yourself and check in. Might need to borrow a few of those! Aaaaooooooooooooo!
AK just read and so appreciated your post. Among the things in it that I’ll keep thinking about is the tension between connecting in a meaningful way with others and allowing myself deeply needed time alone. When I say yes to connecting is that what I most want? Or am I just doing what someone wants of me? And is what I most want what I truly need? Sometimes I feel better after pushing myself beyond my introverted reactions. Sometimes not. Sometimes I’m the one initiating plans with others. Feel free to borrow any or all of the questions! I look forward to using them. And to reading more of your posts.
“…flourish…” Thanks for the reminder that the stopping is also about clearing away so we can “make good art” or “make good” on whatever beautiful creation we are creating.
See you along the trek.
Stan that’s something I want to keep reminding myself of. There are plenty of tangible reminders, especially as I live and work in a small house. If I want a new book, an old one has to go. I chose that example because books are one of the hardest things for me to clear out. The metaphor is what I want to hold in mind. When I clear out emotional and cognitive clutter there’s room for new things to happen! Maybe today’s great idea (yes, I got one today!) arose for that very reason.Quest on, sir!
This former professional organizer is super-impressed by your very reasonable and methodical approach. Good stuff!
Brenna, thank you!