My Heart Magnet sends messages when I’m running into trouble with boundaries. We all have a Heart Magnet, which I think of as an inner GPS that guides me in making decisions that are aligned with my true self.
I’ve learned the hard way that it’s best to pay attention its messages about boundaries! When I don’t I can end up resentful, overwhelmed, and burned out. When I pay attention to the early signs that I’m facing a boundaries issue, things go a lot better.
Your Heart Magnet sends signals about boundaries through your emotions, thoughts, body, intuition, voice (it’s tone, and the things you say) and your behavior. Some examples that are signals related to a problem with boundaries: feeling exhausted, angry, powerless or obligated.
When I notice signals like these it usually means that without being aware of it, I haven’t been holding needed boundaries. Maybe I’ve been saying “yes” when I should say “no.” Maybe I’ve gone along with others wishes, squelching my own. Perhaps I’ve taken on too many tasks. These signals tell me that it’s time to make some changes.
Listening to the Early Messages
I’ve had a chance recently to practice listening to early messages about boundaries. In the past month I’ve been offered several great work opportunities. Even though my plate is pretty full right now I’ve been tempted to say yes, prompted by thoughts like:
“They really need a hand and I want to help.”
“This would be a great project to be involved in.”
“I really don’t have the time, but I somehow feel compelled to say yes to this.”
These thoughts were accompanied by a wish to help, a sense of obligation and of desire to be liked. I noticed some sense of tension in head, heart and gut. I heard a certain tone of caution in my voice. It all added up to a message I needed to listen to.
Taking Time to Think
I realized that setting a boundary and taking care of my own needs would be the right for me and for the others involved too. I acknowledged and accepted my limits. I declined the offers graciously and in a way that acknowledged the importance of the relationships involved. Doing so wasn’t easy, but the sense of relief afterward was a clear sign I’d made the right choice.
Four Attitudes that Help with Boundaries
I know I’m making a choice that aligns with my true self when I use the attitudes of awareness, acceptance, compassion and trust as I pay attention to the messages from my Heart Magnet messages:
- Awareness of thoughts and feelings.
- Non-judgmental acceptance of self and others.
- Self-compassion and compassion for others.
- Trust in myself and trust in others.
How do you recognize the need to set boundaries? What signals do you get when you know you’ve successfully set a boundary?
Originally published 2-20-2018. Revised 3-21-18.