My Heart Magnet sends messages when I’m running into trouble with boundaries. We all have a Heart Magnet, which is an inner GPS that guides us in making decisions that are aligned with our true selves – our deepest beliefs and values.
It’s best to pay attention its messages about boundaries! When I don’t I end up resentful, overwhelmed, and burned out. When I respond to the early signs that I’m facing a boundaries issue, things go a lot better.
Our Heart Magnets send signals about boundaries through mind, body, intuition, voice (it’s tone, and the things you say) and behavior. Some examples signals related to a boundaries problem: feeling exhausted, angry, powerless or obligated.
When I notice signals like these it usually I haven’t been holding needed boundaries. Maybe there’s been too much “yes” and not enough “no.” Maybe I’ve gone along with others’ wishes, squelching my own. Or I’ve taken on too much work. These signals tell me that it’s time to make some changes.
Listening to the Early Signals
I had a recent chance to practice listening to early signals about boundaries. In the past month I’ve been offered several great work opportunities. Even though my plate is pretty full right now I’ve been tempted to say yes, prompted by thoughts like:
“They really need a hand.”
“This would be a great project to be involved in.”
“I really don’t have the time, but I somehow feel compelled to say yes.”
These thoughts were accompanied by a desire to help, a sense of obligation and wanting to be liked. I noticed some sense of tension in my head, heart and gut. I heard a certain tone of caution in my voice. It all added up to a message I needed to listen to.
Taking Time to Think
I realized that setting a boundary and taking care of my own needs would be right for me and for the others involved too. I acknowledged and accepted my limits. I declined the offers graciously and in a way that showed my appreciation for the relationships involved. Doing this wasn’t easy, but the sense of relief afterward was a clear sign I’d made the right choice.
Four Attitudes that Help with Boundaries
I know I’m making a choice that aligns with my true self when I use the attitudes of awareness, acceptance, compassion and trust as I pay attention to the messages from my Heart Magnet messages:
- Awareness of my own thoughts and feelings.
- Non-judgmental acceptance of self and others.
- Self-compassion and compassion for others.
- Trust in myself and trust in others.
Resource and Credit
McClelland, C.L. (1998). The seasons of change: Using nature’s wisdom to growth through life’s inevitable ups and downs. Conari Press: York Beach, ME.
Originally published 2-20-18. Revised 12-16-19.